How to Make Raisin Bran Muffins: The Importance of Eating “Quite Calmly”

By: Melanie

One of my all-time favorite works of literature (and not coincidently, least favorite movies) has to Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. Every time I reread the play, I notice another pun, hyperbole, or hilarious bit of irony that had previously escaped my notice.

I think one reason I love this comedy so much is that it always strikes me as Seinfeld-esque. (Though in reality, I suppose Seinfeld is Wilde-esque!) Seinfeld is, perhaps, the greatest show ever. (I could have an entire conversation (with my dad, most likely) in which nothing but Seinfeld quotes and allusions are exchanged.)

The characters in the Importance of Being Earnest are all hyperbolic types of people that Wilde perceived in his Victorian society. Much like Seinfeld, the characters are devoid of morals, lie openly and often, and assume ridiculous fake identities (Bunbury and Art Vandelay, anyone?) Additionally, they pour over the minutia of everyday life. One of my favorite scenes in the play is when Jack and are discussing, at length and in great detail, muffins:

Jack: How you can sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out. You seem to be perfectly heartless.

Algernon: Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuff. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.

Jack: I say it’s perfectly heartless your eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.

The serious nature with which Jack and Algernon dissect the eating of muffins is hilarious. (Akin to the big salad, perhaps?) But what’s more: I sort of agree. As a lover of muffins (and all bready breakfast foods)—one simply should not eat a muffin in an agitated manner! So, please, enjoy these raisin bran muffins. Eat them, but eat them calmly.

Raisin Bran Muffins

Ingredients:

4 eggs, slightly beaten

1 quart buttermilk

1 cup vegetable oil

5 cups flour

3 cups sugar

5 tsp baking soda

2 tsp salt

1 15 oz box of Raisin Bran

Raisin Bran Muffins

Directions:

Mix eggs, buttermilk, and vegetable oil together. Sift flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt together in another bowl. Add liquid ingredients to the dry and mix until combined. Do not overmix—the mixture should not be smooth.

Let the batter sit for 24 hours in the refrigerator then spoon into either a greased muffin tin or muffin cups . Cups should be 2/3 full.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20.

The great thing about this recipe is that the batter can be refrigerated for up to six weeks, so you can enjoy fresh muffins every morning!